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Is it just Me....?

 

Pam Ward

Humor Columnist

  ...Or is it really hot in here? I知 dripping sweat like I just ran a half marathon (like that could happen...) and I知 just sitting here. The AC is cranked down to a chillaxable 62 degrees, there痴 a wet towel draped over my head and still I知 having these awful waves of internal heat. Is this a prelude to summer? More like my own personal summer actually... Do I dare say it? Omg ya値l, I think I知 having *sigh* HOT-FLASHES.

  Here痴 how it goes if anyone cares or wants to compare notes. First comes a tingly feeling in my head that radiates down my neck. As soon as I get this signal, I know what痴 next. First it痴 like, wow, I知 a little bit hot. Let me uncover. Or take off something. Then it blasts into my face, turning it a deep maroon color. (Really coordinates nicely with my hair.) Sweat breaks out everywhere and I start flinging stuff off. Blankets, snuggies, pillow pets, but nothing helps and it rages on to overtake my entire being! (And NO Anna, I知 not being overly dramatic! Talk to me again in 25 years.)

  Come on now, we all know the deal, we池e all friends here.  The truth of the matter is that I知 officially what one might call an OL GAL.  Like I think I could move in with Blanche, Dorothy and Rose and totally be a Golden Girl only they lived in Florida and there痴 no way I could deal with that heat. Anyhoo, remember that day last week that it turned cold again? It was, ironically, the official 吐irst day of spring. (Woohoo, break out the capris and sandals and put away your fuzzy scarves. More like boohoo if you ask me.)

  Well, that pleasantly if unseasonably cold day was why I decided to go to Pennys for a little shopping. Hopefully I could get in and out before someone spotted me mid flash.  I wanted to check out the Larger-but-Lovely ladies pj痴 for the upcoming season.  Their commercial featured some cute ones with fushcia leopard print and 釘ig Mama Love on the back of the pants. (PERFECT!  I could totally wear those to Wal-Mart at midnight!) Of course, when I arrived they were not to be found. I chased down a young girl and waited while she went 鍍o the back to see if there were any more there.

  Naturally all that activity and I felt it, that familiar little tingle... By the time I met her at the register it was reaching a crescendo and pink sweat (from my temporary hair color, don稚 ask...) was running down my face.  She looked stricken and asked if I was ok?  I explained it was only a HOT FLASH.  She smiled and said 徹h, my grandma has them all the time!  *Sigh*. I paid for my pj痴 and ran for the van, by then I was freezing. I could hear Mother Nature laughing from the back seat the whole way home.

 

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