A few years ago my wife and I went to a tiki bar. It was before the tourist crowd arrived but almost all the seats were taken by guys who were at the end of their work day drinking beers.

I squeezed my way up to the bar and ordered a vodka while my wife decided what she wanted. As my drink arrived my wife saw an open table, took my drink and said, “I’ll have a Lime in the Coconut!” then left to grab the table.

It was noisy and busy and the barmaid shouted, “WHAT ELSE?” Well I was a bit uncomfortable ordering a Lime in the Coconut surrounded by guys drinking beers, so I said in a rather low voice, “a Lime in the Coconut.”

“WHAT? SPEAK UP.”

“A Lime in the Coconut: I said a bit louder.

“WHAT’S A LIME IN THE COCONUT?”

By now I was getting stares from around the bar. “It’s a drink popular in the Caribbean.”

“HOW DO YOU MAKE IT?”

“I don’t know.”

“HEY JOE, THIS GUY WANTS A LIME IN THE COCONUT. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ONE?”

Joe shouted from the other side of the bar, “A WHAT IN THE WHAT?”

“A LIME IN THE COCONUT!”

By now guys were pointing and snickering at me. I said, “Look just give me another vodka, please.”

“IS IT LIKE RUM WITH LIME AND COCONUT WATER?”

“Please forget the coconut drink and give me a vodka.”

“I CAN LOOK UP LIME IN THE COCONUT ON GOOGLE.”

The bar patrons were now laughing at me hysterically. “JUST A VODKA PLEASE, ASAP!”

It seemed like an hour of embarrassment before my vodka arrived and I made it to the table and my wife. By this time she finished her drink and asked for another. I slinked back up to the bar again. Everyone went quiet. The barmaid asked, “What will you have?” To which I replied, “ CAN YOU MAKE ME A LIME IN THE COCONUT?”