Free Advice (Vol.1)

      3 Comments on Free Advice (Vol.1)

  I am not qualified to give advice, but should you take it, you do so at your own risk.

  Q. My husband has taken to eating dog treats. I warned him against doing it but he loves them and insists there is no danger in eating them, What do you think?

  A. As long as you do not see any drastic changes to his behavior he should be OK.  However, if he starts barking at cars and chasing them I would take him to a veterinarian right away. Leave the window open so he can stick out his head and pant.

  Q. If I mix an equal amount of seeds for lima beans, corn and red bell peppers and plant them together, will I grow succotash? Do you have any tips on an organic fertilizer?

  A. Yes, and I suggest a mixture of garlic, salt and butter.

  Q. There is a beautiful forest about 100 yards away from the back of my house. The problem is I can’t see it because of all the trees in my back yard. Should I cut them down?

  A. There is an expression that deals with your situation. I just can’t recall it.

  Q. My pet pig has been sneezing and his eyes are watering. Can pigs get coronavirus?

  A. You didn’t mention if he has a fever. I don’t know but it is more likely to be swine flu.

  Q. My Father strongly believes that Roger Maris belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Do you think he does?

  A. Yes.

  Q. Dude, don’t you like think “Free Bird” is like the most awesome song ever?

  A. You’re right. I don’t.

  Q. I moved to Florida from Maine. The moving company mistakenly loaded my old snow blower on the truck so now I have a snowblower in a place that never gets any snow. I can’t sell it here and shipping it will cost mega bucks. I really don’t have room to store it and the garbage people won’t take it either. What should I do?

  A. Move back to Maine.

  Q. My cat won’t let me use the bathroom. She guards the door and growls at me. I am lost for answers.

  A. Get a litter box.

  Q. I’m 42 years old and still live with my parents. I have enough money to buy a pickup truck but my mommy doesn’t think I should. What’s your advice?

  A. As soon as mommy finishes making your bed, cooking your breakfast and dressing you, go buy the truck.

  Q. Why do I feel so old?

  A. Well, you idiot, it would help to know your age. If you are 25 there is a problem. If you are 117 it may be expected.

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3 comments on “Free Advice (Vol.1)

  1. DENNIS J CROWLEY

    Hey, Rob, for some reason I can’t see the forest behind my condo because of all the trees growing in the forests of Germany. What should I do?
    Sincerely, Dennis Crowley from Serra Lione

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