I always loved watching Jeff Foxworthy and grinned at his funny ideas about how one might be a redneck. Now I get to see him on TV in a new show “Bring the Funny” where he’s actually a judge of stand-up comics. I also like his fellow comedians Ron White and The Cable Guy, plus Bill Engvall who made their funny Blue Collar Comedy group complete. 

  I do have some red neck ways though. Get ready for a quick swim and I don’t get out one of my actual coolers; nope I use my red neck substitute because it’s just for two drinks and a square of ice. Yes, I am still using Folger’s cans for many things, and one is my red neck cooler. Of course it’s red too and that helps.   I have an array of over-the-counter medications in the bathroom, in one of Folger’s smaller cans and I use a large one to contain some tongs, ice cream scoops and big mixing spoons on the kitchen counter. (I believe a certain local newspaper lady has one in their kitchen too.) Well, re-using those coffee cans is helping our environment.

  Another red neck habit of mine includes using duct tape instead of tossing something. For example, my Champion tennis shoes eventually begin to develop little slits on the bottom, mostly at the front of the shoe. Just get out the duct tape, and of course I use black on my black shoes so I doubt they are noticeable to others. I was sad to see Payless going out of business so rushed out and stocked up on Champions and one pair is already repaired with that red neck solution to all.

  I always back into a parking spot. Is that red neck too? I think so. Some of my habits may be more Southern than redneck though. See a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck. Well since I fell and broke my arm, I am now really obeying my doctor’s advice of looking down where I’m walking. Leaving my car to go into Publix the other day, I was looking down, and I found three dimes and a penny! I have picked up several pennies the same way and actually a dollar bill and then a quarter. If I’m at a carwash or mechanic’s shop I’ll put the change in their tip box, and guess what one of those tip boxes is … yep, a red Folger’s can!

  Still smile when I remember my son, Don, saying I had a red neck burglar alarm too and that would be a big cloth Publix bag full of canned goods sitting just inside the front door. That was when I wanted to sleep with the screen locked but the front door open so I could see the stars. Thanks to a kind young man who visits us sometimes, I am now locking my front door, even in the daytime. He mentioned to me that I was leaving myself too open to a potential criminal that might pass by and see a chance to commit a crime. Okay, so I gave up that red neck action. 

  I have always named some of my cars, and wonder if that’s a redneck thing. The 65 Chevelle was called GC, for green Chevelle. I didn’t name the Mercury Sable I leased, but found a peppy 1986 maroon Maxima and she got the name Max. I had a Pinto, but with no name and I never named the 87 Eurosport either. I did name my brick ranch The Henry Hilton, since my home was always open to family members and also former Sunday school students in need. Now for the last memory that’s redneck … bologna sandwich picnics at Indian Springs with my young sons. We had a ball!